i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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