I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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