Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
