So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
