you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize