He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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