she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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