Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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