I could have mohawked her pubes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize