you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
another moral hangover. fuck.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
