lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
