whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
