are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
