Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
