WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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