i wish starbucks made bloody marys
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
