YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
