remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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