me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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