was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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