Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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