Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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