why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
FUCK WHALES
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
