I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are the jesus of drinking
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
