i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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