i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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