He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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