Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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