He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
