Cold hands, warm shart.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
