i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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