Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
