have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
