Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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