the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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