Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
