I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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