There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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