she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize