sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize