I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
