The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
