Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
