Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
