Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
