like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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