My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you inspire me to be a worse person
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
