i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
