Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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