if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize