Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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