Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
