I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
