it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
