I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
