That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I deserve this hangover.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
