Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.

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(678): View more from Georgia

apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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(573): View more from Missouri

dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?

(864): View more from South Carolina

Smooth sack

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.

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