Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
