in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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