There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
