I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
