we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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