we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
