we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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