if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
